The Bastions

* It is believed that such a belated awakening of female sexuality is not due to biological and socio-psychological factors: repressive attitudes antiseksualnoy morality. If the girl had not been inculcated traditional systems, its development is very fast, almost masculine type. From a comparison of curves male and female sexuality becomes clear the usual age of disharmony. As a young family, he persistently clings to her: "Do you love me?" – And hurt her coldness. * And there is nothing to take offense: Sex does not equal love. She loves, but drive it had not yet formed, or rather, not yet cut through the bastions of morality. throughout. A young wife, in turn, hurt (or outraged) by its self-interest: "He's only one right!" * And there is nothing to be offended, and her for him at this age Love – it's sex in the first place.

He had a normal healthy sexuality. Recently, more couples began to take shape with a large difference in age: when, for example, he was – 17-19, and she – 26-30 years, or vice versa, it 18-22, but he – 30-40 … * How outraged the public, "corruption of minors!" "white hair in his beard, a demon edge!" But if you throw the emotions and look objectively, what could be an objection? It – eighteen, she – twenty-eight. As a family, apparently, it is unpromising, but sexually, they just found each other! It needs to be temperamental lover, he – in the experimental and hot partner.

Communication

It happens that we forget to love … This word simply drops out of the internal lexicon of the relationship between a man and a woman. Between the two, once eagerly loving each other, people just stop word exist, to be effective. And inside we start to mentally pray for the return of love, remembering those wonderful moments when it all began only those goose bumps, sparkling eyes, sweet (somewhere slightly sugary) finding moments of happiness alone with each other, then a lively dialogue … 'So! Stop! And where are delos our fellowship? "- Suddenly you are asking yourself.

Are all these squabbles, the cries of the family, all of this meaningless nonsense, which spread, and kept in our house, elevated tone … Is all this WE? And when it all began? Just a couple of moments, and all these thoughts will fall somewhere in the gulf, along with tired to do anything with his hands. Let me quote here one wonderful Zen-Buddhist parable. It can perceive, you can not, but it's worth reading. And as a parable – "Life can not wait." Master Ma Tzu, trying to show his students a state of meditation, he said: – If you say, a word, I will appoint you thirty blows my stick, but if you do not pronounce a single word, too – thirty blows of my cane.

Now, talk, talk! One student came forward and was going to just bow to the Master, but was blow. Pupil protested: – I did not say a single word, and you would not let me say a word. During that same punch? Master laughed and said: – If I wait for you, your speech, your silence … too late. Life can not wait, do not however, whether a similar situation? Each person can interpret this parable to his situation differently. But the meaning of this parable is the same: Life can not wait! While we all ride, roll down the relationship. Communication between two loving people is reduced to nothing or continuous op, but cry. Where to start? This is the main and the right question. Here we consider the first step towards the restoration of communication and, therefore, relations. We draw a brief psychological consultation. Our first lesson we will shine positions when communicating. This is the first thing you should pay attention. Conventionally, there are three positions in communication relations: The first position, we call it the 'top' shows when still in the run-up call, one of the partners or atakuyusche set for him to determine in advance that he know more than companion and now 'all explain to him' or even 'learns to live properly. " Usually, such a position We appreciate the things and events, condemn people blame, insist. The second partner, this position is the desire to defend or attack in response (which is also protected, but more rigid) Hope to read more Tabasova