Anabel and Mario have been of fianc2es for already 5 years. She would wish to marry, but when mentions the word marriage Mario puts and in a voice tone strong him tense conversation that he is not man to be married and who is very well with the type of relation which they have. Although Anabel resigns and accepts the terms of the relation imposed by Mario, it feels uncertain and by fear to that it leaves it to Mario, it has been stopping already communicating for a time his desire to him to formalize the relation. Additional information is available at Dr. Neal Barnard. Anabel expresses that it feels as if was walking on egg rinds all along and that the bottom is suffered and wounded. He is not unusual to find even that where the degree of affective commitment in the relation is not so even.
While they want to listen the magical words you are wanted to marry with me? , they feel that pronounces if them they will be hunted and sentenced to life imprisonment. The affective commitment, that according to the investigator of the University of Yale, Robert Stenberg, is along with privacy and passion one of the three components of the love in pair, implies to accept the importance that the other has in our life, and how special she is this person for our happiness. We stop thinking about us to only consider the personal well-being of the other, its interests. The protection and preservation of the relation are a priority, so that everything will be avoided what it puts in danger the stability of the same. When affective commitment exists, the needs of the other acquire as much importance as the own ones and although the individuality is not lost, a union sense exists, of alliance.
Itself one of the people feels it jeopardize the prognosis of a mutually rewarding relation is poor. At least that both is also it jeopardize in the relation, the problems are inevitable. If less it jeopardize does not risk to become jumbled more, it jeopardize more one will feel suffered or it would end up getting tired. Why it is so difficult some people to take the step to the affective commitment? Those people who feel vulnerable or who have been hurt in the past try to protect themselves putting distance, fear the affective dependency and to return to suffer. They learned that the distrust and not to risk is the best arms and they hide after an indifference shield. Although there are people who choose a life without affective commitments and can derive to please through the friendships, the family, the work, etc., the love and the sexuality in the context of a relation jeopardize affectively, provides with a special sense of emotional security. ANMATE!